“We don’t attract what we want, but what we are.“James Allen
If we ignore the red flags, and fall for these mistakes over and over again, then we’ll definitely always attract the wrong woman into our lives.
Table of Contents
- Why do we always attract the wrong woman – AVOID these 5 mistakes
- 1) We focus on getting into a relationship – Filling a void inside
- 2) We keep chasing her, while being treated poorly – Low self-worth
- 3) She looks so good – “She’s just my type”
- 4) She’s better than your ex and that’s good enough – Not the best comparison
- 5) Constantly looking to settle down – A rushed decision
Why do we always attract the wrong woman – AVOID these 5 mistakes
1) We focus on getting into a relationship – Filling a void inside
If I had to give you only 2 pieces of advice, in order not to always attract the wrong woman, then these two would be it:
- Focus on having a great time, instead of focusing on getting into a relationship.
- Don’t ignore the red flags.
I can’t emphasize enough, how important it is to be able to enjoy life, without constantly feeling the need to have someone by your side.
“I need you.”
“I can’t live without you.”
“All I want is you.”
Most love song lyrics are like this.
Because they know that most people are lonely, and this is what they think, so it resonates with them. This way, they can sell it much easier.
So here’s a rule for you, in order to keep yourself away from many heart-breaks, and to stop attracting the wrong woman.
RULE: Focus on having a great time, instead of focusing on getting into a relationship.
And if you’re going to be able to shift your focus in that direction, then I guarantee you, that it will be a game changer, in terms of always attracting the wrong woman.
So just focus on having a great time, get to know her first, and if she’s having a great time as well, then everything will flow naturally, without having to force it.
2) We keep chasing her, while being treated poorly – Low self-worth
Why is that a sign of low self-worth? Because IF we respected and loved ourselves enough, we wouldn’t allow them to treat us that way, just because we like them.
Let me put it this way.
Think about a person who is close to you, or who is important to you.
- A loved one.
- A family member.
- Or a close friend.
Now ask yourself: How would you allow others to treat the ones who are important to you?
And now, turn that inwards, and never allow anybody to treat you anything less than that.
Because that is how you truly practice self-love, or self-worth. By respecting yourself enough, and not compromising from your own standards, just because you really like someone.
Try to mirror the level of their investment a bit.
If they invest, then you invest. Of course, someone will have to start to invest first, but if you keep investing, and they don’t, then don’t keep chasing them, regardless of how good you think they are.
Their actions tell is all.
- Because, trust me, IF they were interested, they would make it clear, and you would know about it.
- IF they were interested, they would make it effortless and easy to get along.
- Plus, they wouldn’t come up with all these excuses, and you wouldn’t be treated as a second priority at all.
3) She looks so good – “She’s just my type”
One main reason why we always attract the wrong woman, is because we truly like the way she looks.
- Her smile.
- Her eyes.
- Her body.
Like everything is “perfect” on her.
“She’s just my type.”
“Exactly what I was searching for.”
Many times, we already feel that she is perfect, without even knowing her, just because we truly like the way she looks.
Blinded by an intensive, one way emotion.
What’s worse, AFTER we create these strong feelings toward her, we start to search for micro-signs in her behavior, to convince ourselves that she likes us as well.
And this is exactly when we keep chasing her, while being treated poorly, and one of the main reasons, why we always attract the wrong woman.
4) She’s better than your ex and that’s good enough – Not the best comparison
It’s better than it was before, so that’s good enough.
If you meet someone, who doesn’t have that ONE thing, which annoyed you the most in your ex, then you instantly start to feel connected to her.
- Maybe your ex was jealous all the time.
- Maybe she was always fighting over something with you.
- Or maybe she didn’t want to have sex that often.
But no. Not this one. She’s different.
The sad thing is, that we limit our focus to that one thing, that bothered us the most in our previous relationship.
Plus, IF this comparison is good enough for us to get ourselves into a serious relationship, without actually getting to know her, then it means, that we don’t know exactly what we want in a woman, and we NEED to gain a bit more experience in this field of our lives. Of course, if we don’t want to always attract the wrong woman.
5) Constantly looking to settle down – A rushed decision
I see so many guys who are in a relationship today, and after just half a year, they put a ring on her finger.
Why? Why so fast?
There are so many things we need to see for ourselves, BEFORE a ring gets on her finger.
- How is it to live together. I would recommend at least half a year, because, trust me, so many things can come to the surface in only a few months.
- How things go, when both of you are with her family.
- How it is, when she is with your family.
- With your group of friends.
- With her group of friends.
- Also, how it is when you are together, only the two of you.
- When you are apart from each other.
- How it is, when you are out without her, spending time with your friends.
- And also, you should see how she handles stressful or difficult situations.
So many things, that needs to be seen, before such a big commitment is made.
Oh, and after around 2 years, those pink clouds WILL most probably disappear.
So try not to get fooled by those intense feelings, and try to get to know her, before making a rushed decision, and before settling down with the wrong person.
Right now, you are at step 9/10, in the 10-step system on how to find your ideal partner.
Continue the system with the next small bite, here.
If you don’t know about this system yet, BUT you truly want to find your ideal partner, then see the full 10-step system here.
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Until next time.
Thomas Kallos – Find Your Ideal Partner