Did you know that the no contact rule has a 75% of success rate? At least according to Chris Seiter’s clients, who is a successful relationship and break-up coach.
I think each of us experienced at least once in our lives that feeling, when we feel the urge to contact our exes.
But when we truly miss them, it’s quite hard not to contact them.
- Maybe we messed up.
- Maybe we got dumped.
- And maybe we are sorry, and want to prove the other person that we’ve changed and learned from our mistakes.
So, does no contact rule work after breakup?
And if it does, how to apply the no contact rule the right way?
Table of Contents
- What is the no contact rule? (In short)
- Does no contact rule work after breakup?
- The psychology behind no contact rule.
- Here’s an interesting analogy.
- How to apply the no contact rule the right way.
- Everything you need to know about the no contact rule and how to get your ex back in just 4 steps.
What is the no contact rule? (In short)
Basically, after breakup, you don’t contact your ex again for anything.
No matter how intense the urge might feel to reach out to her, you fight that emotional wave and don’t contact her at all.
- No texting.
- No calling.
- And no pursuing.
You DON’T come up with any excuses why you need to talk to her, or why you need to send her that text message.
It’s simply no contact.
That’s why it’s called the no contact rule, after all.
Does no contact rule work after breakup?
YES, no contact rule does work after break-up.
What’s more, according to many other articles, the no contact rule success rate lays somewhere between 70–90%. That’s how often does no contact work.
But the exact number doesn’t even matter.
The point is that it actually works, and it brings the desired result in most cases. Which is finally being contacted by your ex, and many times, being able to get your ex back.
Warning: Don’t use the no contact rule without actually understanding what’s the psychology behind it. First, understand WHY you do what you do, and only then take these steps. Because if you just do it without understanding it, or only because it has a high success rate, then you’ll never understand why she didn’t come back to you.
The psychology behind no contact rule.
Let’s simplify it.
Scarcity creates value.
In other words, your absence creates that space for her to think, and that absence will bring that contrast between when you were fully available for her, and when you’re gone for real.
Here’s an interesting analogy.
- Imagine your favorite coffee shop, where you go almost every day to have a coffee with your friends.
- Or imagine your favorite place from where you order food every day.
Let’s say the next day you want to grab a coffee, or you want to order food from this place.
It doesn’t say anything about why is it closed, or whether it’s temporarily closed, when it is going to be open, or if it’s going to be re-opened at all.
What’s the first reaction?
- Well, we’re just hoping that it didn’t close permanently.
- Then we wonder when it is going to re-open.
- And suddenly we feel a little bad about it, and start to appreciate how great those coffees or foods were, just a few days ago.
Can you see the analogy here?
We only start to value that thing or that person, when we FEEL that contrast of being fully available, vs being fully absent.
Not just know, but feel.
And that’s why we have to create that absence, so they can actually feel that contrast, and start missing us.
- That’s how the no contact rule will help you get her attention back.
- That’s the psychology behind no contact rule.
- And that’s WHY the no contact rule works after breakup.
How to apply the no contact rule the right way.
I said it before, and I’m going to say it again.
1. After the breakup, do NOT contact her again
No text messages.
No phone calls.
As hard as it may be, don’t come up with any excuses, and don’t try to convince yourself that it is going to be a good idea.
You need to give her that space and time, so she can think it through, and feel your absence. Only THEN she will be able to miss you and think about you.
Just walk away and mean it.
Just walk away and never look back.
If you keep reaching out and if you over-pursue, then you are just chasing her out of your life.
Try to understand that.
Related: Would Your Ex Come Back Quiz
2. Start focusing on yourself
Yeah, I know, it sounds so cliché, right?
BUT. Are you actually doing it?
If you know the theory, but you don’t apply it in real life, then that theory is good for nothing.
Start focusing on yourself.
- Do what you did before you met her.
- Go out with your friends.
- Go hit the gym.
- Have some hobbies in your free time.
- Surround yourself with valuable people.
- Build on your goals and focus on becoming a better version of yourself.
Fill your days productively, occupy your mind, and trust me, she WILL notice it with time.
And if it isn’t her, who is going to notices it, then I bet that it will be an even better option, IF you keep going like this, and IF you keep working on yourself.
It’s simply a win-win situation for you.
3. Start dating other women
Since you are single now, you can start dating other women.
If you are going to be fixated on your ex, and if you won’t have any other options, then most probably the ice will break, and you will give in at some point by reaching out to your ex.
The good news it, that you can create options any time.
You have full control over that.
- Start working on your social skills.
- Get out of your comfort zone.
- So start going out.
Put yourself in new environments where you can meet new people, and start dating new women.
There are so many great opportunities out there.
Don’t get hung up so much on just one.
So, does no contact rule work after breakup? Yes, it does work, and it is possible to get your ex back after the breakup.
Do I recommend it? Yes I do. But I also recommend understanding the WHY behind this rule, and to actually do the steps mentioned above, to achieve outstanding results, and to create a more successful life for yourself.
Thank you for being here and reading through.
If you want to know exactly how to get your ex back, then get a free copy of my PDF training below.
Everything you need to know about the no contact rule and how to get your ex back in just 4 steps.
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Until next time.
Thomas Kallos – Find Your Ideal Partner