Are you that guy, who is afraid to say anything in social groups, because if you make a mistake, everybody will be looking at you, and you will feel super embarrassed because of it?
Well then, here is an exercise for you, to get rid of social anxiety, once and for all.
Let’s see the psychology behind it.
Table of Contents
- One of the best exercises to get rid of social anxiety
- Exercise – How to get rid of social anxiety
- An extra exercise
One of the best exercises to get rid of social anxiety
Before we jump to the exercise on how to get rid of social anxiety, let’s see what happens in a socially anxious mind.
People with social anxiety are usually convinced, that others are looking at them. That others are watching them.
That whenever they do something wrong, others see it, and most likely they judge it.
So, if we see it from this angle, it’s pretty understandable to be afraid of making any mistake, if we truly believe, that whatever we do, others are watching us, and we are instantly being judged. Isn’t it?
But the reality is, that everybody is minding their own business.
- They have their own problems.
- Their own struggles.
- And most often, they are in their own thoughts.
- In their own world.
- In their own head.
So here is a rule for you, and then we get straight to the exercise:
RULE: Nobody cares!
But it’s not enough to just know about it, because somehow you need to feel it on your own skin, to actually be convinced.
Exercise – How to get rid of social anxiety
The exercise: Just give a compliment to a random person on the street, and keep going.
It can be a girl or a guy, it doesn’t matter. Don’t stop to have a conversation. Just give a compliment, and that’s it.
And yes, it might be weird at first, but that’s totally normal.
So. How is this actually going to help you?
Well, if you are someone with social anxiety, then most likely, it feels hard to initiate, or to add something to the topic in a social circle.
And with this exercise, you’re actually facing the fear of talking to people, the fear of receiving negative feedback, and you train yourself to “initiate” in a spontaneous situation.
Alright, so at this point, you might have a lot of question in your head.
But, I want you to focus on this one question for a moment.
What’s the worst that can happen?
- Maybe they will look back and think that this was weird.
- Maybe they will ignore you, and keep going forward.
- But maybe you live in a small city, and people who know you will see you.
What’s the worst that can happen?
After all, it was just a compliment.
It was just a kind gesture.
Just some kind words.
- I really like your hat.
- Love your shoes, brother.
- I really like your style.
And if someone can’t take these words in a good way, then I think there is something wrong with them, not you.
So, don’t feel weird about it.
These are just some kind words, and there is nothing bad about it.
- Sometimes they will just ignore you.
- Sometimes they will say thanks.
- Heck, sometimes you will even see a big smile on their face, because you made their day with a simple compliment.
But again, it’s not enough that you see the logic behind it, you have to actually convince yourself, and you can only do it by going out, and by feeling it on your own skin.
So, just go out, give it a try, and train that social muscle a bit.
And if you tried it and still feel like you can’t do it, then don’t worry, you’ll just have to break the ice, and after that everything will work more smoothly.
An extra exercise
When you do this exercise, try to pay attention to people’s faces on the street.
Try to put yourself in their shoes for a moment, and try to imagine, what could be going on in their heads.
- Are they worried about something?
- Are they thinking about some future plans?
- Or, are they excited about something in their lives?
Either way, when you do this exercise, just try to find out whether these people are in their own heads, or are they paying attention to you.
If you take a closer look and make an average, then maybe it will convince you, that they really don’t care, and that everybody is just minding their own business.
So, if you’re skeptical about it, I recommend you to try it out.
And when the ice breaks for you, then next time, when you do a mistake in a social circle, you won’t have that super awkward feeling again, and you won’t have the sensation that everybody is watching you and judging you because of it.
It’s just a mistake.
It’s really not a big deal.
So, try not to put too much emphasis on it.
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Until next time.
Thomas Kallos – Find Your Ideal Partner