Did you know that men actually fall in love faster than women? According to a study of 172 college students, they found that men are the ones who fall in love faster, and also the ones who express their feelings first.
The main problem with this is, that we tend to fall in love too fast with a person we don’t even know yet.
So. Do you fall in love fast? Maybe too fast?
Let’s find out.
Table of Contents
- But how quickly do men fall in love?
- Is it normal to fall in love fast?
- And is it healthy to fall in love fast?
- 1) After the first date, you already start to fantasize about the two of you
- 2) You take the „special moments” and turn them into signs
- 3) You constantly feel the urge to text her
- 4) When you receive a text, you are hoping it’s her
- 5) You would put your life on hold, just to meet with her
- 6) You can’t say NO, especially in the beginning
- 7) Her face, her smile, her body – „Just my type”
But how quickly do men fall in love?
According to Readers Digest, there is a 48% chance, that men will fall in love at first sight, whereas women tend to instantly fall in love only 28% of the times.
In a 2011 study, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology has surveyed a small group of undergraduate students, where they’ve found the following:
Men think about expressing their feelings in 97 days into a new relationship.
Women only think about confessing love after 149 days into a new relationship.
That’s around 3 months for men vs 5 months for women to tell „I love you” first.
These statistics speak for themselves, but what they believed previously, was exactly the opposite.
This same group of people were asked about their beliefs, whether men or women are the ones who confess love first. Here’s what they’ve found:
The common belief: 64% women – 36% men
The real statistics: 30% women – 70% men
So, it turns out, that there is a big misconception here, and both men and women tend to believe, that women are the ones who tell the „L” word first.
Another study reinforces the same results.
A 2013 survey made by YouGov and eHarmony found that men confessed love after 88 days, whereas women needed 134 days on an average before they told that they loved their partner.
So, according to the numbers, men fall in love much faster than women.
Is it normal to fall in love fast?
Since we can’t control how we fell about someone, and whether we want to be attracted to someone or not, it is completely normal to feel those intense feelings in the early stages of dating. Especially when we are new in this field.
As Zara Zareen put it:
„What matters is how you act in response to the attraction — not the inevitable attraction itself.”
And is it healthy to fall in love fast?
Well, that’s a completely different question to ask.
Someone who gets really interested in another person too fast, or if they already start to build all these illusions around them in a short period of time, without even knowing them, is actually unhealthy and is a huge red flag as well.
Here is another interesting point of view, as Psychology Today phrased it:
„ Persons with anxious attachment styles often jump into relationships quickly as well, but not because of a reward motivation—they’re motivated by inhibition or avoidance of a negative emotional state (specifically, fear and anxiety).”
So, the reason behind WHY we fall in love, is also a very important factor to consider.
Is it because we are truly ready for a serious relationship?
Or because of our loneliness and need to escape in something, to avoid the inevitable lows of everyday life.
So let me put it like this, it feels great to be in the pink clouds and to have that euphoric sensation, but it’s not going to help you neither to attract her, nor to build up a healthy relationship with her.
It’s a blinding force, that prevents you completely to see the potential red flags. And we all know how relationships end up, when we are not willing to face reality.
So, here are the top 7 signs that will tell you if you fall in love fast or not.
1) After the first date, you already start to fantasize about the two of you
What’s even worse, when we start to fantasize before we even dated her.
You see, our minds tend to play all these scenarios about how she is a perfect fit for us, and how great our life would be with her.
We know that we could take so much care of her.
We know that we could give all the love she needs, and she deserves.
Furthermore, we are convinced that she is meant for us.
All this, WITHOUT even knowing her.
You have been only on a single date with her… or maybe none.
How could you possibly know if she is a good fit for yourself, if you barely know anything about her?
When we are blinded by love, it’s very hard to see clearly.
But I’ll tell you this.
Getting to know someone TAKES TIME.
It really takes a lot of time.
Just because we are driven by a euphoric feeling, it doesn’t mean it’s showing us the truth.
So if you are totally blinded after the first date, just be careful with that.
Because honestly, we can get blinded very easily, and it can cost us a lot in the long run.
2) You take the „special moments” and turn them into signs
Have you ever wondered about what is she trying to tell you „with this”?
Often times it means nothing, or maybe she was just trying to be polite, and we are inclined to overthink that in so many ways, when we feel for someone.
We tend to come up with all these theories why she told that, or why she did that thing.
We tend to rationalize the scenario according to our own rules and imagination. Simply because we are attached so hard to a certain outcome, and we are constantly searching for proof that will justify that.
Truth being told, it might be that those „special moments” only exist in our heads.
You should always, but ALWAYS look for their action, and not what they are telling you.
If she is „sending sings” of interest, but she’s not willing to go out on a date with you. If she is neglecting you or ghosting you just after a while, I’m sure you know what that means, you just don’t want to face it.
Action speaks louder than words.
So always remember that.
3) You constantly feel the urge to text her
When you barely know her, but you constantly feel like you want to let her know what is happening in your life, that means, that you have already started to feel for her.
Sharing stories gets us closer.
And that is exactly what we feel in those moments as well.
In other words, we are searching for small excuses to talk with her.
We are searching for occasions to engage in a conversation with her.
No matter what the context might be.
We just feel the urge to text her, and want to make sure, that everything is going alright between the two of you.
Oh, and one bonus side note.
If you catch yourself, that you constantly need that reassurance from her, that just means a low self-worth on a deeper level.
But we’ll talk more on that in a later chapter.
So better be careful with your phone.
If you are always thinking about texting her in the early stages of dating, or maybe before you’ve even dated her, it might be a sign, that you can get attached easily.
4) When you receive a text, you are hoping it’s her
We all know that moment, when we receive a text message, and the potential of that beep is much more exciting, than the actual text.
But when we tend to fall in love fast with a person, in the back of our minds, we are constantly hoping just a little, that she is finally going to reach out sometime.
It is directly connected with the fantasies we have built around this person.
Plus it has a Hollywood movie feeling, when the hot girl magically reaches out from out of nowhere, and she finally realizes how great the guy actually is.
Unfortunately, this is reality, where such things won’t happen. (Maybe 1 out of 10,000)
But we like to ride those fantasies.
It is human nature to believe in miracles.
We are aware of reality, but we are intentionally looking aside.
So be aware of your hopes when receiving text messages, because if you are constantly hoping it’s her, especially in the first weeks or so, then it means that you fell a little bit for her, and maybe too soon as well.
5) You would put your life on hold, just to meet with her
Giving up on scheduled activities with your friends, or changing your mind about going out with your buddies, just because she might be available right now, is absolutely a big red flag.
Basically, you prioritize her too much and put her on the pedestal.
In other words, she is the superstar, and you are the infatuated fan.
You would do anything, just to be with her.
You would jump right away, just to be around her.
If you play the game of being available too easily, then she WILL eventually sense it, and she will gradually lose attraction for you.
I can guarantee you that.
It’s funny how we think, that if we spend enough time with her, eventually she will see how great of a person we are, and that will make her want to engage with us in a romantic relationship.
Sorry to be the one who ruins it for you guys, but it’s not going to happen.
First, we have to have an awesome life.
Secondly, we need to invite her into that awesome life.
So, it’s not like we put our life on hold, or stop everything that is happening in our lives, just to be around her.
It’s exactly the opposite.
First, we create a lifestyle that is exciting and attractive, then we invite her to be part of it.
That is the way you should always go for it.
And that is the mindset we should always have, if we want to attract any woman.
So be aware of that.
Because if you are that guy who will change his mind for her, and jump instantly, just because she has time right now, that might mean, that you are one of those, who fall in love fast.
6) You can’t say NO, especially in the beginning
Playing the YES MAN, can be a very dangerous game to play.
It’s a huge sign, that we constantly want her APPROVAL.
And it’s also a huge sign, that we are constantly avoiding her DISAPPROVAL.
It’s so frustrating when we can’t be ourselves, right?
When we always agree on everything she’s telling.
When we can’t express our disagreement towards her, if we don’t have the same opinion.
And when we simply can’t say NO to her, because that would be a huge „turn off”, right?
It doesn’t work like that.
The only reason why we can’t say no, is because we are attached to this person so much, that we don’t want to lose her.
We want to play it safe, and the stakes are really high in our mind.
So we can’t afford a risky „NO” at this point, if you know what I mean.
When you can’t let go of the outcome, it is going to be really hard to say no to her.
And when you already started to create those feeling for her, it is going to be even harder not to play it safe.
It’s definitely a fall in love fast symptom, if you are being overly agreeable with her.
And as I said before.
It’s a dangerous game to play. Plus, it is not even close to being attractive to women. (At all)
7) Her face, her smile, her body – „Just my type”
When you just met a girl who is just your type, and you instantly start to have butterflies in your stomach, it definitely means that you fall in love fast.
„What a beautiful face, so gorgeous.”
„Man, she is everything I’ve ever wanted, she is so perfect.”
„Wow, look at that body. She is just my type.”
I know how attractive and enticing a gorgeous woman can be.
And they are.
Women are beautiful.
Women are pretty.
And women are sexy.
But the problem with that is, that we get completely blinded by it.
We start to see through a filter, that doesn’t allow us to see the red flags, or any poor treatment of hers.
Scientifically speaking, when we fall in love, a high level of dopamine, adrenaline and norepinephrine are released in our brain, that bring us that euphoric feeling.
As a Hardward University student put it: It’s a „Total Eclipse of the Brain.”
So that just means, that our brain is on a „high”, that we barely can control.
And all this, because of a beautiful face, a pretty smile, and an attractive body.
So be careful about those „just your type” women out there.
Don’t let yourself be blinded only by the looks.
Because looks can really make us fall in love fast.
And funny enough, we barely even know them.
To be more specific, often times, we don’t even know them AT ALL.
So, wrapping up the top 7 signs that shows, if you fall in love fast:
- After the first date, you already start to fantasize about the two of you
- You take the „special moments” and turn them into signs
- You constantly feel the urge to text her
- When you receive a text, you are hoping it’s her
- You would put aside anything, just to meet with her
- You can’t say no in the beginning
- Her face, her smile, her body – Just your type
All in all, learn how to recognize these signs, become aware of them, and learn how to handle these kinds of situations the right way.
Because if you are just starting out to meet new women, I’m sure you will be facing some of these at one point of your life.
So better learn from it now, than regret later on.
Right now, you are at step 9/10, in the 10-step system on how to find your ideal partner.
Continue the system with the next small bite, here.
If you don’t know about this system yet, BUT you truly want to find your ideal partner, then see the full 10-step system here.
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Until next time.
Thomas Kallos – Find Your Ideal Partner