If she was the one who broke up with you, then you might want to know if the no contact will work for you, or how no contact affects your ex.
- Will she start to miss you?
- How long will it take?
- And what can you do to get her back?
We’ll cover all these in a moment.
Table of Contents
- What does no contact mean? (In short)
- How no contact affects your ex? Will she start to miss you?
- How long will it take?
- This is what you can do
- Here’s one more thing you can do
- Everything you need to know about the no contact rule and how to get your ex back in just 4 steps.
What does no contact mean? (In short)
No contact only means, that after break up, you DON’T contact your ex, for any particular reason.
That means, that:
- You don’t text her
- You don’t call her
- You don’t accidentally dial her
- You don’t find an excuse to write to her
- You don’t just check on her, or just ask how is she
Pure no contact.
Of course, it’s easier said, than done, especially when all you can think about is her, how to get her back, and how to fix things.
How no contact affects your ex? Will she start to miss you?
Maybe you came here for the answer: “Yes, she will definitely start to miss you.“
Unfortunately, I’m not here to tell you some comforting lies.
So here’s the harsh reality instead.
Will she start to miss you?
- For how long was she ready to break up, but still remained in the relationship
- How strong the connection was between the two of you
- For how long have you been together
- How bad you screwed up
- If another guy is in the picture already
- What experience she will have with others guys
All these can influence whether she will start to miss you again, or not.
Here’s a rule to remind yourself in the future.
RULE#1: It has to be her idea!
- No matter how bad you want her back.
- No matter how hard you want to fix things.
- Also, no matter how much you think about her all day.
It has to be her idea to come back.
So, basically with no contact, you create that space, that emotional distance, so she can start to miss you.
Plus, if you shift your focus from constantly thinking about her to other things, you will protect yourself, from going down into a rabbit hole.
Related: Would Your Ex Come Back Quiz
How long will it take?
Here is a harder pill to swallow.
RULE#2: You can’t control when she will come back!
So, if you’re asking yourself how long will it take, then you’re just asking yourself the following.
“When will I get her back already?“
If you’re constantly thinking about her, thinking about how and when you will get her back, then even one day can feel like a marathon for you.
And her? Probably not the same.
No contact can take somewhere between a few months to a few years. (Or forever.)
Just imagine having that pressure on yourself for that long. It’s like living in hell.
You need to realize, that you can’t CONTROL when she will come back, and that you should never get attached to things you can’t control.
You can only influence it.
So start to detach yourself from that thought.
It’s for your own well-being.
This is what you can do
You can influence it:
- By giving her space
- By letting her breath
- At the same time, by making her feel your absence
- By not making yourself too much available for now.
- And by shifting your focus on yourself and becoming the best version of yourself.
This is how you let HER miss you, and let HER come to you.
But again, keep in mind, it has to be her idea to come back.
So, instead of asking yourself how long will it take, or in other words “When will I get her back already?”, let go of this outcome. You can’t control it anyway.
Here’s a mindset to remind yourself in the future.
MINDSET: No matter how much you think about it, it won’t change.
And if that’s the case, then maybe it’s better to just move on from the past.
To hold your heads up, and to keep moving forward.
Life is full of great opportunities, so better not let it go to waste.
Here’s one more thing you can do
If she was the one who broke up (unless because you cheated on her, screwed up awfully or so), then here is another rule that you can apply.
RULE#3: If she broke up with you, she has to earn you back.
I think this is a huge eye-opener for most people.
Because when they break up with us, it feels like you were thrown away.
Your confidence goes down drastically.
And you start to question your own self-worth.
So let’s respect ourselves enough to move on, and to consider ourselves the prize, instead of constantly trying to get them back.
Of course, this shouldn’t be an excuse for you not to improve yourself, and keep becoming a better version of yourself.
You should simply avoid self-reflection.
Real talk side note: Never become revenge centered. Never go to extremes with revenge.
Although, it will be almost impossible not to feel that desire for revenge. To show her what she lost, and to prove yourself that you’re worth more than this. So simply use that pain to grow, to improve, to get better, and later on drop the revenge, and be glad for her, that she initiated this amazing change you went through.
Every negative has its positive to it. And vice versa. And this is one way how you can use this pain. But remember not to go to the extremes, and not to let this force drive you for too long.
Thank you for being here and reading through.
If you want to know exactly how to get your ex back, then get a free copy of my PDF training below.
Everything you need to know about the no contact rule and how to get your ex back in just 4 steps.
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Until next time.
Thomas Kallos – Find Your Ideal Partner