Being proud of ourselves is needed to have a healthy self-image. Whether we are proud because we always chose the hard way, without any help required, whether because of our great career, our sharp mind, or our lifestyle we created, being proud has its own limits. And if we are not aware of it, pride can kill our relationship in no time.
So let’s try to avoid the “What a fool I’ve been” phase, and let’s try to remove that unnecessary ego, for a healthier relationship and a more balanced life.
Here are 5 ways how pride can kill a relationship.
Table of Contents
- 1) They can’t say sorry
- 2) It feels like a competition
- 3) Pulling her back
- 4) They miss the opportunity to grow
- 5) Will never admit, that they need help
1) They can’t say sorry
“I have to be strong, no matter what.”(Our mind)
That’s the belief. That we have to be strong, and we have to look strong. No matter what.
It’s such a huge red flag when a person can’t say sorry.
And very often, they associate being wrong, or saying sorry as a sign of weakness.
But it isn’t.
Sadly, that’s simply not knowing how to take responsibility for our own actions.
It’s not “strong” at all.
And there is nothing wrong with being wrong and apologizing.
Knowing how to take responsibility for our own actions, is one of the most fundamental rules of all.
So we better learn how to say sorry, when we did something wrong, before that state of being proud will destroy our relationship and love life. (Or our entire life, honestly.)
2) It feels like a competition
Being too proud can give us a sense, that it’s all a competition.
Basically, we compare ourselves to others, and we always want to be better.
We always want to be stronger.
We always want to be greater than the other person.
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with wanting to get better and better. Basically, without competition, we don’t grow as a person.
But too much competitiveness can become toxic and controlling in a relationship.
Too much competitiveness can make us a control freak, which basically means, that we always need to be in control of the situation.
Which bring me to the next point.
3) Pulling her back
When we feel out of control, then we pull her back.
It all goes subconsciously.
We might not want to hurt her.
We might not want to do any bad to her.
Yet, without realizing, when we feel the “danger” of not being in control, our instincts simply tell us to pull her back a little.
- By sh*t talking about her.
- By pointing out some of her flaws.
- By blaming her
- Or by attacking her indirectly.
Just to feel a little better about ourselves, and to regain that control.
Which, unfortunately, is simply controlling and abusive.
So, instead of feeling like it’s a competition, and before we bite back, let’s try to drop that ego, and try to be a bit more vulnerable
Let’s try to drop that pride, and let’s see ourselves as being in the same team.
And definitely not “ME”.
Try to remember that.
4) They miss the opportunity to grow
If you haven’t read the book “Ego is the enemy” by Ryan Holiday, then I strongly recommend it. It explains this idea so well.
So basically, if we become too proud for too long, then our ego will get in our way, by constantly remembering ourselves what we’ve achieved in life.
Where is that going to lead us?
Well, since we already know all these things, and since we already achieved so many great results, it’s already ENOUGH. Isn’t that right?
It’s a “feel good” command from our brain, which will come automatically when things get hard.
And guess what.
When we start to lay back, and stop developing ourselves, or when we stop becoming a better version of ourselves, she will slowly, but surely, fall out of love with us.
It’s crucial in any relationship to KEEP GOING FORWARD, and not to take her for granted.
So, let’s not forget why she fell in love with us in the first place.
Because if we lay back now, we stop being that person, with whom she fell in love with back in the days.
And that’s how pride can kill a relationship.
By keep telling ourselves how great we are, and missing the opportunities to grow.
Which will eventually turn her off, and unfortunately, attraction will disappear with time.
5) Will never admit, that they need help
They can handle it all.
They don’t need help, since asking for help is weak. It’s embarrassing.
They are fine, so don’t bother yourself offering your help to them.
Because they have been through hard times, and this is nothing compared to that.
And even if they required help, they wouldn’t ask for it.
Because it’s something that’s against their stubborn policy.
But the anger can easily accumulate with time, and it can lead them to a passive-aggressive behavior.
Or they will simply explode one day, because they can’t take the pressure anymore.
When all they needed to do, is to talk about their struggles openly, they thought they had to play the tough guy role.
It can be exhausting to wear that mask for so long.
But it’s better to simply drop that pride, and ask for help, if you are struggling, or if you hit a concrete wall, and don’t know how to move forward.
These were the 5 ways how pride can kill a relationship, and I hope it brought some awareness into your everyday life.
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Until next time.