How do you know if the joke you’re about to say isn’t too much? And if it WAS too much, can you still do something about it?
Here I will show you how to be socially calibrated when flirting, and how can you get away with it, even if you crossed her boundaries (a bit).
Table of Contents
- How to be socially calibrated when flirting
How to be socially calibrated when flirting
Just a few words before we get started.
Calibration is all about learning from our mistakes.
Understand ONE thing:
RULE#1: We all do mistakes!
Since one of our biggest fears is being rejected by the girl we like, we don’t allow ourselves to make any mistakes, and often times, we don’t even go out and talk to women, just to avoid rejection.
But we have to understand, that:
- This is how we grow.
- This is how we learn.
- And this is how we get better.
By going out, practicing it, learning from our mistakes, and by calibrating.
So, let’s see now, how to be socially calibrated when flirting, or when talking to a cute girl.
1) Acknowledge – Calibrate on the spot
By acknowledging that you went too far, or that you crossed her boundaries, you will let her know, that you actually feel those boundaries, that you are aware that you crossed them, and now you’re willing to admit your mistake.
And how do you know that you crossed her boundaries?
Her reaction tells it all.
It’s true that you shouldn’t fully analyze while interacting with women, because it’s impossible to be in a flow state while analyzing, but you should be aware to the degree, where you see in her reactions, if you crossed her boundaries.
- Whether it was a bad joke of yours.
- Whether you were flirting too directly, too soon.
- Or whether you touched a sensitive topic, or offended her somehow.
You can actually get away with it, by calibrating on the spot.
“I know. Just a bad joke of mine, Sorry for that.” – after a joke went too far.
Of course, whether you can get away with it, depends on how much you crossed her boundaries. But generally speaking, you can get away with it by calibrating in time.
- It shows her that you’re not a weirdo.
- It tells her that you are aware that you went too far, and that you respect her boundaries.
- Plus, it will show her that you are man enough to admit, when you made a mistake.
Man pride combined with man ego, are both one of our biggest enemies, and not many men are capable of admitting, when they did something wrong.
So, IF you can acknowledge it in time, then you’ll actually stand out from the crowd, by simply showing a more humble person, and by showing her, that you can take responsibility for your own mistakes.
2) Take a step back – Give her a bit of space
Once you acknowledged, you need to take a step back, and let the interaction breath for a moment.
You can do this by:
- Changing the subject – You can start with “By the way…”, to change the subject.
- Joking about yourself – Using a self-deprecating joke, and make fun of yourself for a moment.
- Asking a question about her – Make it about her.
Simply drop that topic, and after you acknowledged your mistake, try to keep up the conversation with something, that isn’t too flirtatious, or too direct.
Give her some space for now, and keep it slow.
RULE#2: Two steps forward, one step back.
This is a general rule you can use, to keep going with the interaction. But if you made a bigger mistake, you can even do two steps forward, and two steps back for now, just to keep things slower.
This way she won’t feel pressured that much, and once the vibe is flowing again, you can keep going, using the general rule.
3) Remember the next time – Don’t let yourself do the same mistake ever again
This is how you learn.
And this is how you calibrate.
By being strict with yourself.
And by that, I mean, that you shouldn’t let yourself do the same mistake twice.
What I can tell is, that women don’t really like, if you joke about their flaws or insecurities:
- Joking about her height, if she is too short (or too tall).
- Joking about her teeth, if she has a gap there.
- Or any joke about her appearance, that might be an insecurity for her.
So try to avoid these topics, or joking about these, but other than that, it would be hard to give you a direct formula on which jokes are too much, or when are you going to cross her boundaries.
And that’s why you need to go out, and practice.
It’s going to be impossible to calibrate without actually interacting with women.
So just go out, interact with women, be prepared that you ARE going to make mistakes, and when you do, remember them, and don’t allow yourself to do the same mistake ever again.
Because THIS is how you calibrate the right way, and at the same time, this is how to be socially calibrated when flirting.
Right now, you are at step 4/10, in the 10-step system on how to find your ideal partner.
Continue the system with the next small bite, here.
If you don’t know about this system yet, BUT you truly want to find your ideal partner, then see the full 10-step system here.
Thank you for reading through. If you liked this post, please consider subscribing to my newsletter down below, for more dating and relationship advice.
Until next time.
Thomas Kallos – Find Your Ideal Partner