Science has confirmed that if you’re not outside your comfort zone, you’re not learning. And if you want something you’ve never had before, you have to be willing to do something you’ve never done before.
Here are the 3 best tips on how to get out of your comfort zone, which you’ll definitely need to apply, if you want to find your ideal partner as well.
Table of Contents
- Why you need to get out of your comfort zone?
- So, how to get out of your comfort zone?
- 1) “Will it make you stronger?”
- 2) Do something new each day for a week – Create that momentum
- 3) Removing your EGO – The fixed mindset
- Just a few last words about getting out of your comfort zone
Why you need to get out of your comfort zone?
Growth only happens if we are willing to challenge ourselves, but that WON’T happen in our comfort zone.
- There’s no other way around it.
- There’s no magical short and quick way for it.
- Because, only hard work, combined with smart work, will lead us to long-lasting success.
Change usually takes a longer period of time, plus, it can feel extremely uncomfortable, since often times we are talking about an identity change.
- It might be something completely new.
- It might be something we’re not used to yet.
- Also, it might even be something that feels unnatural, or counterintuitive at first.
But just like anything else, which is difficult or uncomfortable in the beginning (workout, jogging or cold shower), this change too has countless positive benefits afterwards, if you’re willing to find your ideal partner.
- Living a life without regrets.
- Meeting and dating attractive women while you’re single.
- Because, when you’re going to find your ideal partner, that dream partner, you WILL settle down, and then, you won’t be able to date anymore.
So do it NOW, while you can.
And, if you’re ready for that change, and if you’re ready to get out of your comfort zone, then do it as soon as possible.
Because, trust me, those will be the best stories, that you’ll always remember, and those will be the best moments, that you’ll never forget, when you did something so spontaneous, something so scary, that gave you that adrenaline high, that gave you those goosebumps, and that made you feel alive again.
So, how to get out of your comfort zone?
1) “Will it make you stronger?”
Most often we get stuck in our comfort zone, because we literally convince ourselves, that it’s too complicated, it’s too hard, and that it’s not even worth it.
- “It’s too hard.“
- “It’s too complicated.“
- “It’s going to take too long.“
- “I don’t want to.“
- “Not now.“
- “Maybe later.“
- “Maybe tomorrow.”
So, don’t let it be a question of comfort.
Because, it shouldn’t be about if you’re comfortable enough to do it, it should be more about whether it’s going to make you stronger or not.
So, the next time you hear yourself coming up with some excuses why not to take action, LITERALLY ask yourself this.
“Will this make me stronger?”
If yes, then DO IT!
And don’t let it be a question of comfort.
“And how is it going to make me stronger?” – you may ask?
Well, I’m sure you’ve been in an uncomfortable situation, where you applied the “much worse” mindset, without knowing about it, which looks something like this:
MINDSET #1. “F**k it. I’ve been in much worse than this.”
So basically, the more you get yourself out of the comfort zone, the more you can apply the “much worse” mindset, and the more open you’ll be to challenge yourself.
This is a simple, yet a very effective mindset, which will get you out of your comfort zone, and which will help you to avoid procrastination as well.
2) Do something new each day for a week – Create that momentum
We all know, that the beginning is always the hardest.
To get started.
To create that momentum.
This is why you can start with small bites in the beginning.
So for this, you’ll need to create a list of 7 things you will do on the next week, that gets you out of your comfort zone.
- It can be something you’re afraid of.
- Something that is slightly uncomfortable at first.
- Or something completely new, that isn’t necessarily uncomfortable.
Do a trial week of this for yourself, and see how fast you’ll adapt to trying out new things.
It can be something like:
- Asking for directions from a random person on the street.
- Giving a compliment to a random person on the street.
- Or just initiating a conversation to a new member from your social group, if you’re not used to initiating conversations.
Of course, these were some examples that might be uncomfortable socially, but you can literally do anything, that will get you out of your comfort zone.
You just need to create that momentum in the beginning, and the rest will follow.
So, here are 2 important rules for you to take away.
RULE #1. The beginning is always the hardest.
RULE #2. Life is a game of momentum. You gain it, you lose it, and you’ll always have to regain it again and again.
And if you’ve been in your comfort zone for too long, then you’ll definitely have to re-create that moment, and be prepared, that it will be harder in the beginning.
But that means, that it will get easier as you go, and as you start to get used to it.
So just do something new each day for a week, just give it a try, and again, you’ll be amazed how fast you’ll adapt to that change.
3) Removing your EGO – The fixed mindset
The fear of the unknown. The other great-great enemy of getting out of our comfort zone.
We can be so pessimistic about new things, when we don’t want to try them out.
But what are we afraid of more specifically?
Let’s dig deeper a bit, and let’s see an example, of a person with a fixed mindset.
“Either I’m good at something, or I’m not.”
A person with a fixed mindset, according to Carol S. Dweck, is defined as someone who “believes their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits.”.
So again, either they are good at something, or they’re not.
And IF they will get themselves in new situations, where they will have to face, that they aren’t able to stand their ground, and if they will FAIL, then they would automatically self-reflect, and label themselves, as a loser.
And that’s exactly why they avoid the unknown, or new situations.
- Because they fear that they have to face failure.
- Because they are afraid to ruin that image of themselves, that they’ve been building for so long.
- And, because if they fail, that would mean, that they are NOT good enough, and they would feel bad about themselves.
Can you see why we need to remove our EGO?
- Our ego tells us that we are good.
- Our ego tells us, that we are cool, and that we are fine.
- So basically, our ego is the little devil in our minds, who tells us all these great things about us, so we can feel good about ourselves.
And this little devil, combined with a fixed mindset, can keep us forever in our comfort zone.
So, here is a great mindset you can take away for yourself.
MINDSET #2. What’s the worst that can happen?
- Maybe others will laugh about it.
- Maybe they will have their opinion about it.
- Or maybe, you will feel bad about yourself, because you didn’t succeed at first.
Really ask yourself what is the worst that can happen, and face it.
Ask yourself out loud.
Because in our head, the weight of that consequence feels so much worse than it actually is in reality.
And to end this post, here is another mindset and rule, that you can take away for yourself.
MINDSET #3. You only live once, and life is too short to focus on what other people think.
RULE #3. Progress is better than perfect.
So try to focus on creating a life which you truly want to live.
- If it’s making you stronger.
- If you are making progress, and if it’s getting you closer to where you want to get.
- And, if nothing bad can happen as a consequence.
Then JUST DO IT. (Not even a Nike sponsored post, though.)
Because this is how to get out of your comfort zone for real, by create that momentum, step-by-step.
- By taking risks.
- By breaking those repetitive habits and trying out something new.
- And, by facing the unknown and the uncomfortable.
Just a few last words about getting out of your comfort zone
Getting out of your comfort zone is NOT easy. Especially if you have been laying back for a longer period of time.
It most probably implies, that you’ll have to be doing something completely new. Something, that you haven’t done or seen until now.
- So, don’t expect yourself to be good at it at first.
- Be prepared that maybe, or better said most probably, you will fail in the beginning.
- And just lower your expectation toward yourself when you are getting started.
Because, how do you even expect to be good at it, if you’re just getting started?
So, just drop those expectations in the beginning, and let GROWTH be the main focus, and the main goal.
Because that way, you’ll most likely get started much earlier, and change will happen, the moment you’ll start taking action.
Right now, you are at step 1/10, in the 10-step system on how to find your ideal partner.
Continue the system with the next small bite, here.
If you don’t know about this system yet, BUT you truly want to find your ideal partner, then see the full 10-step system here.
Thank you for reading through. If you liked this post, please consider subscribing to my newsletter down below, for more dating and relationship advice.
Until next time.
Thomas Kallos – Find Your Ideal Partner