Is Attachment Bad? – 3 Signs of Unhealthy Attachment

A healthy relationship will always have to it a healthy dose of independence. And of course, we are going to get attached to our loved ones, after we spend a lot of time together. But if we get attached too much to a person, or to a certain outcome, then it will only lead us to suffering.

So is attachment bad?

And at what point does attachment get unhealthy?

Let’s find out.

Table of Contents

Is attachment bad?

It’s really hard to control our feelings, when we’re blinded by love.

And it’s really hard to hide how we feel, when all we want, is to spend time with the girl we desire so much.

No matter how hard we try to be emotionally independent, we will certainly get attached to our loved one at one point.

But it’s all about finding the right balance.

We should never go into extremes.

And we should NEVER put our partner as the center of our lives.

So, is attachment bad after all?

It’s not bad, if we know how to keep that healthy balance.

Now let’s see these 3 cases, when attachment gets out of balance, and when attachment gets unhealthy.

At what point does attachment get unhealthy?

Is attachment bad

1. Your partner’s life is your own life

Everything you do in your life, you do it together.

Your lives are merged so much, that at this point, it feels unusual for you to go out just with friends, without her.

And whenever she wants to go out with her friends alone, you might get a little offended by it.


Because you always think about her as well, and you wouldn’t necessarily go out without her.

In other words, your identity got wrapped around her identity.

Always including her in your schedule.

Always thinking about her, and putting her as a priority.

And always ready to spend the rest of our time with her.

The problem with that, is that it doesn’t give her any space.

I need space.”

Dating partner / Girlfriend

Does that sound familiar?

Because in most cases, this will happen when we suffocate her.

We need to let her breath.

To give her some space.

She has to have her freedom, her own life, and she should NEVER feel suffocated.

And that’s why we shouldn’t make her life our own life.

We should have our own hobbies.

We should go out with our own friends every once in a while.

And we should have our own activities, which doesn’t include her as well.

That’s the healthy balance you should strive for, and the unhealthy attachment that you should avoid.

2. Emotionally dependent

If our emotions are defined by our partner’s behavior or mood, then we know we are emotionally dependent.

But it doesn’t even have to be our partner, it can be any other external influence that will make our emotional state fluctuate.

Emotionally dependent people usually FEAR being rejected, not liked, or criticized by others.

Also, the opinion of others is important to them.

That’s why if they are not liked, or if they are criticized, they reflect it on themselves, and they tend to question their own self-worth.

It’s a huge sign of low self-esteem and emotional dependency.

So let’s be careful with this.

Because if we get attached so much, that we get emotionally dependent of our partner, then it’s going to be an emotional rollercoaster.

We need to remember, that we can’t control what will happen to us, we can only control how we react to that.

And we have full control over that.

3. “I can’t lose her” mentality.

Unhealthy attachment can't lose her

When we are driven by the FEAR of losing her, then we simply can’t be ourselves.

When we feel like we NEED her to be fulfilled, then it’s already getting unhealthy.

It’s an unhealthy attachment, where she has to stay at all cost.

We can’t relax.

We can’t make a bad move.

Also, we are walking on eggshells, and we are trying to play it safe.

“No matter what happens, I can’t lose her.”

(Our brain)

It creates so much frustration to live in fear-based mindset.

And to live with such a low self-esteem, that we can’t even believe that they want us as much as we want them.

As if we believe that we don’t even deserve them.

We should avoid at all cost the mindset of “I can’t lose you” or “You complete me”.

We should never put her on such a pedestal.

And, we should always walk in a relationship where we are already complete.

So again.

Is attachment bad?

It can be bad, if we get attached so much, that we start to lose our own sense of identity, and that we start to make her the center of our lives.

Try avoiding that, and try to strive for a balance, that will benefit your relationship in a healthy way.

Thank you for being here and reading through.

If you want to know how to stop caring for the wrong person, or in other words, how to forget an ex that isn’t healthy for you, then get a free copy of my PDF training down below.

stop caring for the wrong person

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You can get instant access to it by simply subscribing to my newsletter.

Until next time.

Take care.

Thomas Kallos Find Your Ideal Partner

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