“How can she already be over me so quickly, and be with another guy?”
If you’ve been monkey branched and cheated on like this before, then you might have asked yourself this question at least once.
Monkey branching can feel so disrespectful. It can hit us so hard, and that’s because we didn’t even see it coming. Because we didn’t expect her at all to make that move, since we felt like everything was going alright. Not to mention how hard it can hit, if the relationship was a long one.
So. Will it work out for them? And what can you do in this situation?
Table of Contents
- Monkey branching meaning
- The psychology behind monkey branching
- Do monkey branching relationships last? Will it work out for them?
- How to stop monkey branching?
Monkey branching meaning
So what is monkey branching? Basically, it’s when someone is in a serious relationship, and at the same time they are looking for another partner, that they can branch over to, before breaking up. That includes texting, flirting and even dating someone else, while being in a relationship. And when they find a better replacement, they break up and makes the move.
To understand monkey branching even better, imagine a monkey going forward, from branch to branch. The monkey wouldn’t let go of the first branch, until it found another branch to hold on to.
In other words, she wouldn’t let go of the relationship, until she found a suitable replacement. Until she found a safe spot. Typically, a man with a higher status.
Note: Even though I’m talking about women, men are just as capable of monkey branching as women. Some men would break up only after they found a younger, or a better-looking girl. So this can be applied to both genders.
The psychology behind monkey branching
Everybody wants to have a high status. Right?
- To look good.
- To be strong.
- And to have a successful life.
But this concept gets interesting when women are choosing a partner.
You see, typically, women wouldn’t really want to be with a lower value guy than themselves.
- A high-value guy, who would bring a woman’s status up, and made them feel good in the relationship, would also make them feel safe, and to want to stay.
- But a low-value guy, who would bring a woman’s status down, or didn’t make them feel that well in the relationship, would make them think about a new potential partner.
Of course, this is not the only factor that we should take into consideration, and not all women would simply leave when they had a better option. There are a lot of great women out there, who would try to talk it through, and who would try to search for a solution first.
But the point is, that some women, who don’t want to be lonely, would rather stay in a bad relationship, but only until they found a better replacement.
Do monkey branching relationships last? Will it work out for them?
We all would like to hear, that both of them will burn in hell, and that their relationship isn’t going to work out. Right?
But the reality is, that it’s really hard to tell, whether it’s going to last or not.
Basically, it’s just another relationship, which started with an affair.
But it’s good to know, that if she was able to do that with you, she would most likely be able to do the same thing with the other guy as well, when she feels like the relationship isn’t working out.
- I believe, that it’s just a coward move from the person who is monkey branching.
- I believe that there is huge lack of moral.
- And that there is a huge lack a communication.
People who are monkey branching, are just stealing the other person’s time for their own comfort.
Because trust me, if something goes wrong in a healthy relationship, first thing’s first, you discuss it with your partner. You try to talk it through, and you try to come up with a solution.
But if they didn’t even come up with any solution, but rather replaced you with another guy, just a few weeks after she broke-up, then I believe it’s not fair.
This is NOT how anybody should resolve things in a relationship.
- If they’ve tried a few times to fix it, but still nothing, then yes. They should end it.
- Or if they had enough, and didn’t want that relationship to continue, then they should let the other person know and leave.
But I simply believe, that it’s not fair to end a relationship like this.
How to stop monkey branching?
Let me start with this. You can’t STOP monkey branching. You can’t force her to do anything, or to feel any particular way. It simply doesn’t work like that.
But even if you can’t stop it, there are a few things you can do in this situation.
1) Accept the reality – Accept the fact, that she is like this. Accept it, that she’s a person, who would leave behind your back, without wanting to save the relationship. You can’t change that. So rather try to accept it. The more resistance you have, the more you are going to suffer because of it.
2. Either in, either out – You have to let her know that you’re not going to be her comfort anymore. That you’re not going to be her safe spot in case things don’t turn out according to her plans. And for that you’ll need to let go, and make things clear for her. If she chooses to be with the other guy, fine. Let it be. But she has to understand, that she can’t play these games with you. Either in, either out. No negotiation here.
3. Focus on yourself – What you can control in this situation are your own thoughts and actions. You can’t control hers. So better focus on yourself now. Also, there is a chance, that you lost the male frame in the relationship, or laid back too much. That might have caused her to leave as well. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to judge anybody. All I’m saying is, that this can be a great wake-up call for you to self-reflect. To focus inwards, and to start a new chapter in your life, with a lot of improvement in it.
4. Let go & be open – If she was able to get together with another guy just within a few weeks, then I think this can give you a pretty solid reason to let go. Of course, if it was a great and a long-lasting relationship, then it will take a bit longer to heal. So don’t be too harsh on yourself, but respect yourself enough to not let her hurt you anymore. Plus, be open for new opportunities. That doesn’t mean, that you have to jump in another woman’s laps right away as well. Just start to realize, that there are other women out there, too. Maybe you deserve someone better, after all of this. Don’t you think?
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Until next time.
Thomas Kallos – Find Your Ideal Partner