Even if we narrow it down to 0.1% of the female population, we’ll remain with millions of women. So maybe it’s a bit delusional to think that there is ONLY ONE person who is meant for us. Or is it?
Oneitis vs love?
Let’s find out the real answer.
Table of Contents
- What is oneitis, and where does it come from?
- Does “The One” actually exist?
- Oneitis vs Love.
- How to deal with oneitis?
- A complex training about how to stop caring for the wrong person in your life and how to forget your ex that isn’t healthy for you.
What is oneitis, and where does it come from?
Oneitis comes from “One + it is”.
So, basically oneitis is the belief, when we truly believe, that there is that ONE person, somewhere out there, who is truly meant for us. Just like in the Hollywood movies.
We know we have oneitis, when we are so much fixated and blinded by one particular person, that we totally exclude any other potential partner from our lives.
We focus on her so much, because we truly believe that she might be THE ONE.
Thus, we can’t lose her.
And we have to play it safe.
Does “The One” actually exist?
There are around 4 billion women on the world.
So, as I said in the beginning, even if we narrow it down to 0.1% of the female population, you’ll still remain with millions of choices.
Of course, not all of them will be a good fit for you, but don’t you think it’s a bit delusional to say that there is only one perfect partner out there?
Here is the truth.
There is no such thing as one perfect partner.
There are only amazing partners, outstanding partners or ideal partners.
(Sidenote: That’s why I named this website Find Your Ideal Partner, and not Find Your Perfect Partner. Both domains were available at the time.)
We all have our own flaws, and a relationship will always be going to have its small struggles. (Small)
But there definitely are MORE amazing partners, outstanding partners or ideal partners out there.
The ideology that THE ONE exists, comes from the Hollywood movies.
If you watch these movies over and over as you’re growing up, you’ll reinforce that belief in yourself.
If the guy pursues her enough, if he is persistent enough, then she will eventually see his true value, she will start to like him, and finally she will fall in love with him. And then, they’ll live happily ever after.
That’s the belief that these Hollywood movies are reinforcing.
Which is simply delusional.
Here is a quick definition of what delusional actually means:
Delusions are defined as fixed, false beliefs that conflict with reality. Despite contrary evidence, a person in a delusional state can’t let go of these convictions… Delusions are often reinforced by the misinterpretation of events.
Oneitis vs Love.
Love is built. It is built by two individuals, who show mutual excitement and respect towards each other.
It’s not just one person infatuating the other. They both invest the same amount of energy into their relationship.
Love is earned over time.
It’s not meant to be, just like in the movies.
And ultimately, love is real. It’s real for both parties.
On the other hand, oneitis is just an idealistic illusion, a fairy tale, a fantasy, that one “partner” is projecting as their reality.
How to deal with oneitis?
First of all, you need to understand this:
People who like you will be enthusiastic about talking to you, will be curious about you, will find a way to meet with you, and will make time for you!
If they are not reciprocating the same level of excitement, but rather constantly coming up with an excuse why they can’t make it, then you are just wasting your time on this person.
Maybe months or years of your life.
So here’s how to deal with oneitis:
- We have to recognize that this is an unhealthy attachment – Their actions speak louder than their words. No matter what she might say to you, always look at her actions. You might nurture some hope in yourself sometimes because of her neutral responses, which of course can be confusing, but most probably she was just being polite, and didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Remember, if she wanted to meet with you, she would have found a way to do it.
- If they don’t show mutual effort, then stop contacting her – After you realized that you are the only one who infatuates them, then you’ll have to stop texting or calling them, and also you’ll have to stop asking them out. You have to understand the underlying message behind her behavior. Don’t take it personally, simply take it as a no, and move on with your life.
- Create abundance, so you prevent being fixated on just one person – The cure to oneitis is clearly abundance, and you have control over that. Go out, meet new women, and create some opportunities for yourself. Work on your social skills if needed. Hit the gym to take care of your body and gain some confidence. Of course there is work to it, but better use your energy on creating abundance, than being fixated on one person for months or years. It simply doesn’t worth it. There are so many fish in the sea. Why just go fishing forever to one lake you really like?
So, oneitis vs love.
Which one is the winner for you?
I hope you choose properly.
Thank you for being here and reading through.
If you want to know how to stop caring for the wrong person, or in other words, how to forget an ex that isn’t healthy for you, then get a free copy of my PDF training down below.
A complex training about how to stop caring for the wrong person in your life and how to forget your ex that isn’t healthy for you.
You can get instant access to it by simply subscribing to my newsletter.
Until next time.
Thomas Kallos – Find Your Ideal Partner