How to know it’s time to BREAK UP – The 3 biggest signs

Is it really love? Is it time to move on? Or MAYBE you just got used to her so much over time, that you don’t know the difference anymore?

It’s hard to tell if you should BREAK UP or CONTINUE without seeing the dynamics of your relationship, BUT here are three straight forward red flags which indicates that you should move on.

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So how to know it’s time to break up?

How to know it’s time to break up

But before we dive into it, let me point out a very important note.

It’s never easy to throw away something that you’ve built up with so much love and devotion.

To throw away something that not that long ago was so beautiful.

But sometimes we simply have to wake up and FACE REALITY as it is.

By holding on to something for too long and too hard that is toxic, we are just hurting ourselves even more.

And that’s why you need to find out whether it is real love, or it’s time to move on.

So.

How to know it’s time to break up?

Sign #1: She is constantly searching for EXCUSES instead of solutions

Searching for excuses break up

You simply know it when your partner wants to work it out or if she is constantly coming up with some BS excuse.

It’s the same if she is a runner and always wants to get out of the relationship when a problem appears, instead of looking for a solution.

So in other words, she isn’t even TRYING to make it work.

Maybe you haven’t seen each other for a while, and you want to spend some time with her, but she seems to always come up with an excuse, why she CAN’T make it.

Or maybe you have an irrelevant fight about something, and instead of trying to work it out, or talking it through, she simply grabs the fight as an excuse. She may be preparing to run away, or she might want you to feel guilty about it.

Regardless of the situation, if she is someone who won’t look for solutions to make it work, then it’s simply a NO-GO!


So how to know it’s time to break up?

Ask yourself this:

„Is she searching for solutions when a PROBLEM appears in our relationship?”

If she is not, I would definitely reconsider being together with her in the near future.

And try to answer it with full honesty.

It is for your own good.


Sign #2: They WON’T LISTEN to your problems

She won't listen to me

There are moments in our lives when we want to tell our spouses how we feel, what is hurting us, or why we are upset about them.

But we are AFRAID to even come up with that topic, because we know in advance what’s going to happen.

No one wants a big fight in their relationship. Right?

So typically, these people get mad really fast when you come up with a topic, that they don’t want to talk about.

They might even change the subject real fast and act like nothing has ever happened.

Or maybe they won’t listen, simply because they don’t care.

And you know what else?

You won’t tell what’s on your mind, because peace and harmony are much MORE IMPORTANT to you than the potential fight.

Isn’t that sad?

Sacrificing yourself for the sake of your relationship?

So if that’s the case, then stop doing that.

Someone who won’t even listen to your problems, doesn’t deserve to be with you.

Everybody deserves to be treated well.

We all need to realize our own innate worth as a human being, without having to take all the BS from someone who has no empathy towards others.

Remember that.


So how to know it’s time to break up?

Ask yourself this:

„If I have a problem, can we talk it through together?”

If she is someone who gives you a sense of fear when you are about to tell her what is wrong, then it’s because she already gave you a few reasons to be afraid before.

And you know that because it happened previously as well.

So ask yourself that question, and again, try to be as honest as possible to yourself.


Sign #3: You are NOT a PRIORITY for a long time

She doesn't have time for me

Telling you that they don’t have time now, next week and next month can be a big indicator that you are not a priority anymore.

She might spend much more time with her friends than with you already.

She might constantly be preoccupied with her job, and might forget about you completely.

Also, she might always seem to do something else instead of being with you, and it gives you a feeling that she is AVOIDING you.

Start translating „I don’t have time” with „It was not a priority”.

Of course, there are occasions when they really don’t have time, and spending time together is not a priority at the moment. Trust me, there are occasions.

But hearing that for the 55th time over a few months will definitely not convince me that I am even close to being a priority to her anymore.

Did she take you for granted?

Maybe.

Does she always have something more important to do?

I don’t think so.


Warning!

There is a fine line between being NEEDY, and knowing when it’s time for you to STEP UP for yourself, because of being neglected.

So try not to translate this as „they didn’t have time for me, so I’m not a priority for her” for every situation you encounter.

We should all have our own life, our own hobbies and our own space every now and then.

Besides, „a long time” is so relative for everybody.

For some people, 1-2 days is a long time, and they already feel neglected if nothing special will happen during that time.

So try not to confuse these two.


So how to know it’s time to break up?

Ask yourself this:

„When was the last time we went out together?”

„When was the last time we did something together?”

If you haven’t done a thing together for a whole MONTH, then I would definitely call it a QUIT.

That is the maximum I would ever take from anybody. No more.

Although, 2 weeks can also feel really devastating, when you live like two roommates.

But instead of getting upset, or feeling offended by it, try to talk it through.

Try to let her know that you’d like to spend more quality time together, and see how that goes first.


So, let’s wrap it up here.

Try to pause for a moment and make a reality check on yourself.

How to know it’s time to break up

Ask yourself if you really want to stay with her, or you just got used to her.

If you really love her, or you are just afraid of being alone, or to go out and meet new women again.

Also ask yourself if she is a collaborator.

If she is trying to make the relationship a better place for both of you.

If she is willing to listen to your problems.

If she is willing to work it out together with you, or is she getting upset when you stand in front of her, trying to tell her what’s wrong.

And if she took you for granted already or not.

Sidenote: make sure you do these as well, and you don’t just expect her to do so.

There is always a fine line for the golden way, and it’s really hard to find it. So what I really mean is that it won’t be „perfect” all the time.


But as „The Clash” asks in one of their songs:

“Should I stay or should I go?”

Only YOU can answer that question.

And that is how to know it’s time to break up or not.

By facing REALITY.

And trust me, it’s never easy.

Especially when we don’t want to BELIEVE what our gut has been telling us for so long.

And it takes real COURAGE to face it, to accept it, to remain indifferent, to be objective, whatever the reality turns out to be.


Thank you for being here and reading through.

Furthermore, if you’d like to find out „How to stop caring for the wrong person”, or in other words, how to forget someone that isn’t healthy for you, you can download my free PDF training here.


My question for you now:

Have you ever met with any of these signs?

For how long did you take it?

Did you manage to work it out?

Leave a comment below, and let us know your story as well.


Until next time.

Take care.

Thomas Kallos

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