I was a late bloomer.
For a very long time, I didn’t really pay attention to so many details in life.
- My clothes.
- My hair.
- My shoes.
- And how I showed up and presented myself in front of a new group of people.
At the same time, for a very long time, I didn’t have that many friends.
All I focused on in life were:
- My grades at the university.
- And spending the rest of my time with my girlfriend at the time.
Which sounds great, except if you have ZERO social life.
One of my biggest frustrations was, that I couldn’t fit in.
I noticed that I couldn’t let go.
- I wanted so hard to have many friends.
- To be part of social circles.
- To be part of them and to be recognized for who I am.
I just simply couldn’t do it.
It was very difficult for me to let go.
And I had difficulties with laughing on stupid jokes.
It had to make sense, otherwise I couldn’t force myself to laugh on it.
I just wanted to know how to fit in and how to have a great time.
But I simply didn’t know how to get there or where to start.
Actually, a nice haircut was a pretty good start.
For the moment.
I was 21 when I had my first undercut IN MY LIFE.
That was in my 3rd year of university, when I was an Erasmus student in Kraków.
One of my best friends cut it for me, and I’m so grateful to him for offering it to me, and that I’ve actually convinced myself to make that step.
It wasn’t that easy, since I’ve been only once to a barber before 21, and even then I insisted on keeping the same style.
In the rest, my father and my friends cut my hair.
Most of the time, I had long hair.
So, this undercut was the FIRST BIG STEP in my journey.
And after this, I started to pay more attention to how I dressed, and how I showed up in a new social circles.
I bought my FIRST pair of elegant shoes.
And I bought my FIRST elegant trousers with a nice black belt.
From that point on, I started to pay attention to how I dressed.
At the same time, I started to put more emphasis on the words I used and the way I expressed myself.
To my body language, tonality and eye contact.
And finally, slowly but surely, I started TALKING TO WOMEN!
Which was a huge thing in my life.
- Started with the awkward small talks.
- Found some great pick-up lines on Google and topics to talk about.
- Went out and I’ve put everything into practice.
And I crashed and burned hundreds and thousands of times.
- Often times I got rejected.
- Often times I got ignored.
- And had a few successes as well every once in a while.
But I’m so glad that I’ve decided to take that first step.
To actually get out of my comfort zone and to make that change.
- Because the person I am today, doesn’t have to worry about any WHAT IFs.
- Because I know, that later on, I would have regretted so bad, choosing not to live while I was still young.
- And because, thanks to everything I went through, I finally managed to find my ideal partner.
Which was my main goal, after all.
All in all, I’ve learned and understood a lot about social dynamics.
- How to talk to people.
- How to make friends.
- And it even helped me in presenting myself on job interviews.
- It taught me negotiation skills.
- It taught me how to sell myself.
- And most importantly, it taught me how to talk to anybody, no matter where I was, and in what situation I might have been in.
All this journey taught me so much, when all I wanted first, was to make more friends, and afterwards, to find a great partner for myself.
And I want to inspire you, as well, to do the same.
I want to inspire you to be open for that change in your life, even if you feel like you are behind compared to others.
EVEN IF you feel like you are a late bloomer as well.
Because if I could do it, I know you can do it as well.
Every big journey starts with a small step.
Mine started with a simple haircut.
What will be yours?
Thank you for being here and reading through.
If you feel like being on the same path as I was, and if you have any questions regarding finding your ideal partner, feel free to reach out.
Until next time.
Thomas Kallos – Find Your Ideal Partner